Letter that would never be sent...

I've sick for a few days. And in this few days I start to realise something. I think is my fault, is because of my attitude, my temper, that make things worse. I know that u love me and care me, but sometimes I really can't feel your care. What do you think a patient need? care? or medicine? or your pocket? Within these, you had choose to care about me. But your caring isn't the type that I want. All I want when I was sick is just that u stay beside me, prepare food and medicine. For you, you always call me to eat Panadol only. You wouldn't take it seriously. Even I'm fever, you also will tell me that it just a small case, no need to visit doctor. I really upset. I really feel like want to leave you forever and ever in yesterday's morning when you are sleeping. I'm very disappointed, hurt and sad. When you are sleeping, do u know I almost fainted because of fever. Even the doctor say I fever till 39 degree Celcius you also seem like no feeling, it's normal temperature.


And, I don't know whether you realise or not, the way that we communicate gradually change. Ya, maybe you are right, I should not always 'lao gai' , but why don't you try to think about the reason that make me 'lao gai'? I am a bad temper person. I told you at first. Do you remember what you answer me? You said: Never mind. U don't care.U won't leave me. But now, ...? I know, I can't blame it on you. Is my fault.


As time passes, our relationship are getting worse and worse. I know you fell bored to care me and make me laugh when I angry already. However, it seen like a norm already. Even sometimes I'm not 'lao gai' , not angry, you also say that I'm like that. Last time you will 'tam' me. Now you will 'scold' me. Isn't our relationship just can stand 5 months only? I don't know. I really don't know. Now, you wouldn't tell me where had you went today or yesterday. You seem like don't want to tell me, or you think no need to tell me? 


I'm waiting for the day. I know I will be very sad. I don't know whether my Melancholia will out burst again or not? But I know, I'm preparing myself for the day.